Parashat Nasso פָּרָשַׁת נָשׂא

​In our Torah portion this week, there are the procedures about Sota, a suspected straying wife. It is based on the jealousy of the husband and describes an ordeal the woman must endure if her husband’s feelings of jealousy have been awakened.

Many people confuse ENVY and JEALOUSY.  And there is a very fine line between the two.  Both envy and jealousy make you feel inadequate.  But, in the case of envy, you want something that someone else has.  This is the tenth commandment—not to covet; here what we are being commanded to avoid is envy. In the case of jealousy, on the other hand, what you feel is that someone is trying to take something that is yours.  Jealousy - GANNA - is the fear of losing what one has, or what one loves, or what one prizes.  

So we see

• Esav is jealous that Jacob has taken his birthright.
• Leah is jealous that Rachel has taken the husband who, given that she is the elder daughter, should be hers.  
• Cain is jealous of God’s love for Abel and for his sacrifice.

But we can also see envy as well as jealousy in these stories.  

• Do Joseph’s brothers envy him for his marvelous coat, his good looks, and his confidence?
• Are they jealous of their father’s love for this particular son?  

Perhaps all apply.

Though envy and jealousy often travel together, envy is a two-person situation - I just envy you - your life, your possessions, your apparent comfort. Or the other person has traits that you wish you had; I wish I had your patience, for example.  Or your work ethic. In envy, the anger is turned inward -  wish I were different and I’m angry that I’m not. But jealousy is a three-person situation, where I fear that someone is trying to take away someone that I have or want or believe that I have.  The anger in jealousy is turned outward, toward that other person, real or imagined. 

Perhaps milder versions of jealousy are part of what it means to be human.  It’s even possible that jealousy lets us know that we love someone, that we don’t want to lose that person to another.  But, in most cases, jealousy - as we see here in the case of  Sota  - is ugly and irrational.  

Let us hope and pray that when we feel jealousy - and we know that we will - that we can turn that jealousy into something productive. That we can rise above the childish need for your toy and that we can recognize that God gives us what we need, and to be envious or jealous is to question that faith.  So let us rise above those inclinations to love each other AND ourselves.