Chayei Sara פָּרָשַׁת חַיֵּי שָֹרָה

Some time in the mid-90s Bill Moyers hosted a ten-part series.  The ads for the series read “Rape, fratricide, jealousy, temptation, fear, rage, murder . . . “  

What was the series called?  Genesis: A Living Conversation.  

Moyers emphasized that our biblical heroes were, as we know, flawed, and that, in the words of God to Noach, “the heart of man is evil . . . from his youth.”  We spoke of some of these flaws in studying the Parshyot over the past weeks.  But to focus on “rape, fratricide, jealousy, temptation, fear, rage, and murder” is to ignore another theme that really does frame our parsha reading today.  That theme is LOVE.  Specifically, the love between a husband and a wife.

Hayyei Sarah opens with word of Sarah’s death at age 127.  Abraham has two initial responses: “And Abraham eulogized her and bewailed her.”  If you have lost a loved one, then you know exactly what this means and how it feels.  We eulogize and we bewail.  But eulogizing and bewailing are two very different activities.  When we eulogize (the Hebrew word here is ‘hesped,’ we review a person’s life, we tell the story of that person—what did she value? How did she live? What would she want to be her legacy?  When we weep, however, we do not plan or reason or even necessarily think.  Weeping is a release of almost unbearable tension when one’s world seems to be crumbling.  Weeping expresses in a primitive way the sense of loneliness and isolation that one feels when confronted with a significant loss.  Everyone in the community could understand Abraham’s eulogy for Sarah, for they too had their relationships with her.  But no one there could share his personal pain; that was his alone.

Sarah left her family and home to go off into the wilderness with a nomad who had little but promises to offer, and some Midrashists claim that Sarah came from royalty. If that is true, then how much more amazing is it that she left all that to be with an iconoclastic monotheist. Midrash also tells us that just as Abraham brought in thousands of male converts, so Sarah brought thousands of women into the Covenant. Just as Abram became Abraham, adding the letter “hey” to reference God’s name, so too Sarai became Sarah. 

What does Abraham do next?  As we know, when he arises from his mourning, he buys a plot of land in order to bury his wife. Some say that this act was the last of the ten tests that Abraham faced. Imagine having to face a test AFTER the Akada! In any case, Abraham is up to the task.  He is more than willing to humble himself to do so. In fact, the Torah tells us twice that he “prostrates himself before the people of the land.” He insists on paying what the land is worth—400 shekels, he is told—so that he knows that the wife he has loved has a resting place that is truly hers and where she remains to this day.