Our Parsha of the week, Kedoshim, gives us the immense gift of the Holiness Code: "How to live our day-to-day lives" in a way that uplifts us and others. One dictate is that we should not place a stumbling-block in front of a blind person. How can this be understood?
In our complicated and stressful society, there have arisen numerous professions devoted to giving advice to others and receiving a fee for so doing. Such professions as financial planners, estate managers and programmers, therapists for both mental and physical wounds, marriage and divorce counselors and other areas in which current society is populated, if not even dominated by these advice givers. No one can expect perfection from another human being and many times the advice or planning that is suggested and adopted may turn out to be less than constructive, even with the best of intentions. The Torah does not expect perfection from those from whom we seek advice; that would be way too high a bar. But the Torah does expect honesty and transparency. It’s always possible that there’s a tinge of self-interest on the part of the counselor or therapist involved. After all, this is the manner in which that person makes a living. Yet, as far as humanly possible, the Torah does demand objectivity, fairness, and intelligence when giving such advice, whether it be from a professional in the field or even from a friend or neighbor. We are repeatedly warned in the Torah and in the Talmud not to volunteer advice to others in areas where we are not requested to, especially if we are not expert in those fields. It is dangerous and an enormous responsibility to give advice to others. In biblical times, prophecy was available but in our world prophecy, as far as I know, no longer exists. Both the person seeking advice and the one granting such advice should be very careful not to create the stumbling block that will cause the ‘blind person’ to fall. Kedoshim exhorts us to respect everyone, it’s a positive command to see everyone in their best possible light, to see all other human beings as created in God’s image. And the rule—not to put an obstacle in front of the blind, is a negative injunction; it’s telling us that one way to respect others is not to make their lives harder. Not to get in their way; in other words, if you can’t do something good, if you can’t do something to benefit another person, don’t do anything at all. I’m sure that all this is also connected to loshan hara , but that’s for another time and discussion. Kedoshim deals with the overall directive to be holy. How can we be holy? How can we learn to treat others as holy? Our sages teach us that if we judge others favorably, then God will judge us favorably. The stranger. The widow. The poor. The slave. The disenfranchised. The broken, whether in body or in spirit. All are holy. All are created in God’s image. Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other. Let us strive to see that in others and to nurture the best in ourselves. And let us say AMEN.
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This week's post-Pesach Torah reading is Acharei Mot, After the Death of Aaron’s two sons. We cannot be sure about the reason for their demise, but what we certainly can do is attempt to learn from their dire experience.
So: how do we learn from our mistakes? One way is by admitting them. Because if we don’t admit them, we certainly can’t move on. Many brilliant leaders have stories about mistakes they made that led them to discoveries, inventions, or innovations. Has anyone ever heard of the Apple Lisa? The Macintosh TV? The Apple III? The Powermac g4 cube? I’m guessing not. . . Those were all failed inventions of Steve Jobs. Maybe one reason we don’t feel comfortable making mistakes is that we almost never hear of the ways even the most successful people make mistakes. I suspect the difference is that they learn from them—at least they know what DOESN’T work—and they move on. Undeterred by failure. Oscar Wilde once said that “Experience is the name that we give to all the mistakes that we have made.” How would we otherwise learn? We learn to walk by falling down. Perhaps we can learn to see a mistake as a detour, not a dead end. As gifts that enable us to grow and to make progress. And to remember the famous Winston Churchill statement: “Everyone makes mistakes, but only the wise learn from them.” If we refuse to admit our mistakes, then they fester, and we get stuck in pride and denial. At the other extreme, if we wallow in our mistakes, and assume the worst about ourselves, then we can never move on. We will forever see ourselves as failures. In both extremes, we rob ourselves of our ability to move outside of ourselves and to connect in an authentic way with other people. May we never be afraid to make a mistake or to admit a mistake. Doing so is the glue that connects us, each to the other. The flaws in each of us can give us depth and nuance. Depending on how we deal with them, they can shine a light on our true character. I know that we often pray the Leonard Cohen version of Hallelujah, but there is a beautiful passage from another Leonard Cohen song that is worth mentioning in this context. The song is called ANTHEM, and here is the refrain from that moving and haunting song: (is there anything in Leonard Cohen that ISN’T haunting??) Anyway, here’s the stanza: Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack, a crack in everything That’s how the light gets in. Our ancestors looked for a perfect offering, but we now know that that is an impossibility. But the imperfections that are in us and in the world, the “cracks,” as Leonard Cohen describes them, are “how the light gets in.” Let us pray that we learn to see them, to appreciate them, and to learn from them. |
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